And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
