I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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