You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
