I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
