First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I will pee on everything he values.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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