On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
