Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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