i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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