sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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