yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
