Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My vagina just recognized that song.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
