ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
