Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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