2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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