Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
