Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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