margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
