dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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