Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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