were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
