Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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