I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
she looked like the before picture.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
