erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
