At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
