theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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