i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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