The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
