i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
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