Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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