don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
