I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
