The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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