You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
