No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
