he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
