just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
