just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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