$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize