my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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