Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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