We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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