If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
