Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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