I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i just google imaged poop.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
