Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
