either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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