sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
