My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My ass is underappreciated
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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