His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Vodka?
Forever.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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