i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize