guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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