We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize