so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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