i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
