If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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