My boss' voice literally gives me gas
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
