i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
