I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize