Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize