haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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