How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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