Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
