the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So apparently I’m into choking now
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