just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
