happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
