Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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