I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
