u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
