a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I wish i was in the wii world.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
