It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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