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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
