My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
