just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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